Therapy for Perfectionism
You hold yourself to standards no one else could meet — and punish yourself when you fall short. Therapy can help you break the cycle without losing your drive. Evidence-based CBT & DBT for high-achieving women.
It doesn’t look like a problem from the outside
People admire your work ethic, your attention to detail, your reliability. What they don’t see is the cost.
Never Good Enough
You finish a project, get praised for it, and immediately focus on the one thing you could have done better. The accomplishment barely registers before the self-criticism starts.
Procrastination Disguised as Preparation
You delay starting because if you can’t do it perfectly, why start at all? So you over-research, over-plan, and wait for the “right moment” that never comes.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
A small mistake feels like total failure. A B+ might as well be an F. You see your work — and yourself — in extremes, with no middle ground.
Difficulty Delegating
You take everything on yourself because no one else will do it the “right” way. You’d rather be exhausted than disappointed by someone else’s work.
Imposter Syndrome
Despite your track record, you feel like a fraud. You attribute your success to luck or effort, not ability — and you’re waiting for everyone to figure that out.
Physical Symptoms
Jaw clenching, tension headaches, insomnia, stomach issues. Your body is keeping score of the stress your mind refuses to acknowledge.
The perfectionism-anxiety loop
Perfectionism and anxiety feed each other in a cycle that looks like ambition from the outside but feels like a trap from the inside.
Anxiety sets the standard
A deep belief says: “If I’m not perfect, something bad will happen. I’ll lose respect, fail, or be found out.”
You overwork to stay safe
You over-prepare, over-check, and over-control everything. It’s exhausting, but it feels necessary.
You fall short of impossible standards
Because the bar is unreachable, you inevitably “fail” by your own measure — even when everyone else sees success.
Anxiety spikes and confirms the belief
The perceived failure triggers more anxiety, which confirms the original belief: “I need to try harder.” The loop restarts.
CBT breaks this loop by targeting the underlying beliefs that keep it spinning — not by lowering your standards, but by loosening anxiety’s grip on them.
Read more: The Perfectionism-Anxiety Loop →Evidence-based therapy that keeps your strengths intact
The goal isn’t to make you stop caring. It’s to help you care without suffering.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
We identify the specific thought patterns that drive your perfectionism — the “I should” beliefs, the catastrophizing, the all-or-nothing thinking — and examine whether they’re actually serving you. CBT is the most researched treatment for perfectionism, with consistent evidence showing significant reductions in perfectionist thinking and anxiety.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
DBT builds the skills that perfectionism tends to erode: distress tolerance when things don’t go as planned, emotional regulation when self-criticism spirals, and mindfulness to catch the pattern before it takes over.
Behavioral Experiments
We test your beliefs in real life. What actually happens when you submit something at 90% instead of 100%? When you say no to a commitment? When you let someone else handle something? Usually, the catastrophe your anxiety predicts doesn’t arrive.
Self-Compassion Work
Perfectionism thrives on a harsh inner critic. We work on developing a more balanced internal voice — not a permissive one, but one that responds to mistakes the way you’d respond to a friend’s mistake.
Signs perfectionism is running the show
These are things my clients say in our first session. If they sound familiar, you’re not alone.
“I know I’m successful, but it never feels like enough.”
“I spend hours on something a normal person would finish in one.”
“I can’t relax because my brain won’t stop listing what I haven’t done.”
“I feel like a fraud and I’m terrified someone will find out.”
“I avoid trying new things because I might not be good at them.”
“Everyone thinks I have it together. No one knows how anxious I actually am.”
Insurance & Fees
Licensed in Utah, California, and Florida. In-network with three major insurers.
Aetna
Copay Only
In-network in UT, CA & FL. Pay only your copay or coinsurance.
Quest Behavioral Health
Copay Only
In-network in Utah. Pay only your copay or coinsurance.
Carelon Behavioral Health
Copay Only
In-network in California. Pay only your copay or coinsurance.
Private Pay
$200/session
$225 intake. Superbills provided. HSA/FSA accepted.
Learn more about perfectionism & anxiety
The Perfectionism-Anxiety Loop
How perfectionism and anxiety feed each other — and how therapy rewires the beliefs keeping you trapped.
Why High Achievers Resist Therapy
If you’re reading this page but haven’t booked a session yet, this post might explain why.
Burnout Quiz
Perfectionism and burnout often travel together. A quick check-in on where you stand.
High-Functioning Anxiety Quiz
Looking put-together while falling apart inside? This quiz helps you see what’s really going on.
Frequently Asked Questions
Perfectionism is not a formal diagnosis in the DSM-5, but it’s a well-researched psychological pattern strongly linked to anxiety, depression, burnout, and eating disorders. Clinical perfectionism involves setting unrealistically high standards, basing self-worth on achievement, and experiencing intense distress when those standards aren’t met. It responds well to evidence-based therapy, particularly CBT.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the most evidence-based treatment for perfectionism. Research shows CBT significantly reduces perfectionist thinking and associated anxiety. I combine CBT with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills — including mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation — to help women develop a healthier relationship with achievement and self-worth.
No. The goal is never to lower your standards or take away your drive. It’s to detach your self-worth from your output so you can pursue your goals without the suffering. Most women find they actually become more productive after therapy — because they spend less energy on anxiety, procrastination, and self-criticism.
Consider therapy if your perfectionism is causing you more distress than it’s driving success. Signs include: chronic dissatisfaction despite accomplishments, procrastinating from fear of doing things imperfectly, harsh self-criticism, difficulty delegating, physical symptoms like tension or insomnia, and avoiding new challenges because you might not excel immediately.
Yes — perfectionism and anxiety frequently co-occur and reinforce each other. Anxiety tells you something bad will happen if you’re not perfect, so you overwork and overcontrol. When you inevitably fall short of impossible standards, anxiety spikes, confirming the belief that you need to try harder. CBT breaks this cycle by targeting the underlying beliefs. Read more about the loop →
Yes. I’m in-network with Aetna (Utah, California, and Florida), Quest Behavioral Health (Utah), and Carelon Behavioral Health (California). Private pay rates are $225 for intake and $200 for ongoing sessions. HSA and FSA cards are accepted, and I provide monthly superbills for out-of-network insurance reimbursement.
You Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Feel Okay
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation. No pressure, no judgment — just an honest conversation about whether therapy could help.